and I'm feeling so lost now...
I hate to feel so clueless but I am right now,
stuck in the midst of year 3,
feeling so helpless and thinking that I can't make it.
I never really thought about this but can I really make it?
Not as easy as i thought it will be,
no one will really care if I can't make it because
everyone will just carry on with what they are doing and
it's just a waste of time to keep a mind for another person,
to give a small reminder or something like that and that will be
all that it takes to show a little concern for that someone.
I have no idea what i've been doing that cause me
to be at this pathetic state right now.
There's a chinese saying that goes “求人不如求己”
which unfortunately is so true and i think that i'm too
not intelligent to even “求己”...
So what if you think you help others when
they don't even think that they need you?
One last grateful thing is to know that God is always there to
watch over me so if it's He's will that I will make it then I will,
whether or not I will still work hard,
if I fail to reach there then I can do nothing about it.
As for helping others, as long as i think it's right i'll carry on,
even though i'm not expecting anything from them
and i'm not going to expect anymore.
Not anymore.
How weak am I and how much I needed His power to overcome this burdened heart!
1 comment:
:( dont be sad! you know, at times like this, so many of us are selfish la. at all of these insecurities... we just have to face the truth lo.. sometimes thats why i also feel tat you nw.. at times we cant wholeheartedly trust the people around us, even how close we are.. so.. yeah. youre not pathetic, you are who you are. and i agree on what you told me like.. we would naturally help others, but some ppl do not think the same as us.. so.. distant i feel, is the word. she shouldnt be too close to those la.. yeah <3
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