I always thought that I am a
pessimistic and low self esteem girl,
and some people who are really close to me will
tell me the same thing.
In fact,
after I've become a christian,
I've already been trying hard to kick
my pessimistic thoughts away from my mind
but most of the time I could hardly do that.
I always tend to expect the worst,
tend to thought that things will be screwing up.
I've always been a very careful person,
and most of the time I do things with a fearful heart.
However, I still admire one part of me
which is even though I'm not a confident person and
someone that can speak well in front of public,
but when the events call for it,
I can be really courageous at times.
Sometimes, I really wanted some changes in myself.
Some big changes in me.
Definitely, I know that I wouldn't be able
to carry all the good qualities I see in other people,
which I wanted to have,
but I really wonder what I will be like with those qualities
which I don't have?
My sister just showed me the test that she took for her personalities,
and her character is of the opposite of mine.
She's thinks positively, less emotional compared to me,
decisive, independent and sociable.
But I'm not.
I think of the worst side,
tends to get hurt,
tends to think about many things before making any decision,
both small and big.
I wanted to get supported rather fighting alone,
I prefer to shut myself from the world that do not understand
who I am before judging me in every areas.
How far would I go from here?
I've been thinking SO much.
From day to night,
from the moment I lie down and sleep
to the moment I wake up for school.
From standing up to sitting down.
EVERYWHERE.
I hate the fact that some people don't try understanding me
before judging my ability to do anything,
and I'm very, very disappointed when you're really passionate to do something.
And I've been wondering what is the exact plan God really has for my life,
what is my destiny in my life,
which God has called onto me to live out?
But I trust that He has the plan,
Just Believe.
pessimistic and low self esteem girl,
and some people who are really close to me will
tell me the same thing.
In fact,
after I've become a christian,
I've already been trying hard to kick
my pessimistic thoughts away from my mind
but most of the time I could hardly do that.
I always tend to expect the worst,
tend to thought that things will be screwing up.
I've always been a very careful person,
and most of the time I do things with a fearful heart.
However, I still admire one part of me
which is even though I'm not a confident person and
someone that can speak well in front of public,
but when the events call for it,
I can be really courageous at times.
Sometimes, I really wanted some changes in myself.
Some big changes in me.
Definitely, I know that I wouldn't be able
to carry all the good qualities I see in other people,
which I wanted to have,
but I really wonder what I will be like with those qualities
which I don't have?
My sister just showed me the test that she took for her personalities,
and her character is of the opposite of mine.
She's thinks positively, less emotional compared to me,
decisive, independent and sociable.
But I'm not.
I think of the worst side,
tends to get hurt,
tends to think about many things before making any decision,
both small and big.
I wanted to get supported rather fighting alone,
I prefer to shut myself from the world that do not understand
who I am before judging me in every areas.
How far would I go from here?
I've been thinking SO much.
From day to night,
from the moment I lie down and sleep
to the moment I wake up for school.
From standing up to sitting down.
EVERYWHERE.
I hate the fact that some people don't try understanding me
before judging my ability to do anything,
and I'm very, very disappointed when you're really passionate to do something.
And I've been wondering what is the exact plan God really has for my life,
what is my destiny in my life,
which God has called onto me to live out?
But I trust that He has the plan,
Just Believe.
1 comment:
This article was extremely interesting.
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